SHOULD GRANDMA BABYSIT FULL TIME: December 2008

Grandma is the one who allows her grandchildren to do the things that mom would not. So, what happens when this is the person who is with your children all day while you are at work?

Why It's a Bad Idea to Let Grandma Babysit Fulltime

I can't speak for everyone, but I can share my own experience. I have had to work full time ever since high school. Being a stay home mom was never an option for me, so I had to find responsible, dependable, and affordable child care. The logical person was my mother, and she was thrilled. The first few years worked out great, however things began to change. What I found was that my mother was slowly becoming a mother to my children. Sure I had the best childcare possible, but I paid a high price. The price I paid was an anger that I had never experinced with anyone before, and now this anger was directed towards my own mother. I became angry and jealous of the relationship between my mother and my children.
Because I had to work, my mother was the one who went to all of the school parties, most of thier doctor and dental appointments and she took them shopping, to the movies, and helped them with thier homework. I missed out on just about everything. Once I realized what was happening I had a talk with my mother and explained how I felt. She was hurt and disappointed because I had to find someone else to babysit. Unfortunatly this also hurt my children, so it was short lived and my mother continued to babysit until they were old enough to be left alone. I continued to carry a secret resentment that came out during all family gatherings. I was openly mean and hateful to my mother, and it didn't help that she was constantly telling me how to take care of my own children. It was so bad that I didn't want to invite my mother to anything. Things had to change. No matter how many times I tried to tell my mother how I felt, she did not hear me and continued to raise my/her children. Finally they grew up, when my mother was no longer needed as a babysitter she went through a terrible depression, and I secretly felt that she deserved it because in my opinion she should have never allowed herself to get that close. Oh I know I was wrong, and I have since then appoligized, But that's the point, don't let grandma babysit fulltime. It could damage or possibly destroy your mother daughter relationship.
My relationship with my mother is strong today, but only because we have both realized our errors in raising my children.

SHOULD GRANDMA BABYSIT FULL TIME

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Grandma Should Just be Grandma

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Why It's a Bad Idea to Let Grandma Babysit Fulltime